Friday, January 25, 2008

The day I fought back.

My weapon of mass destruction

I’m a lover not a fighter so it is very out of character for me to fight back. In fact, I have never been in a fight. Ever. (Um…Unless you count the ones with my husband :)

About two weeks ago I arrived at the New Brunswick station to a mass of people. Soon after I hear the familiar “Ding ding. Attention New Brunswick passengers. The 7:42 is operating 30 to 60 minutes late. We apologize for the inconvenience.”

About 45 minutes later a train shows up. The station manager encourages us to get on this train since she’s not sure when the next one would show up. The penguin shuffle then begins. We all manage to get in the train but at this time its standing room only. I was actually lucky to get to stand in the front of the car by the seats. There was no room to move. Frankly, I didn’t even have to hold on because I was practically doing the lambada with the person in front and behind me.

That’s where SHE appeared.

I heard the faint EEEXXX-CUSE ME (With full on attitude) coming my direction. People sighed and tried to get out of the way. I literally had no place to go and I said so to the woman.

That’s when it was ON like Donkey Kong.

Woman: “I want to get to the front.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t move. The train is packed. We all want to get to the front and we can’t.”

Woman: “You are not going to stop me from where I want to go”

She then shoved me to the side and I pretty much landed on the laps of my fellow commuters.

If I had hockey gloves, I would have thrown them off at this point.

As she continues to shove past me, I proceed to use my purse/laptop bag as a battering ram and jam it into her as hard as I can. (Which isn’t very hard.)

I had such rage inside of me and would have jumped on her and started the beat down if it wasn’t for my fellow commuters who had my back and proceeded to berate the woman.


THANK YOU GUYS!!!!

It was an uncomfortable ride to Newark but I made it through.

A girl can only be “pushed” so far.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am so tired. I hate commuting on this train. Ever since my car went into the shop last week, I’ve have to take this stupid train to work every day.

I’m starving. I haven’t had anything to eat all day, and all I could find in the station was that tiny popcorn vender. Yuck, this stuff is cold and stale. There’s four bucks I’ll never get back.

Oh, wait. Who is that? Oh no! It’s that girl with the laptop computer. She sits there angrily clacking away on that thing like she’s auditioning for a Chopin piano recital. I hope she doesn’t sit by me. Keep walking little girl. Oh no, no you don’t. Yes , yes…there you go…sit down right next to me -perfect.

I’d speak to her, maybe offer some stale popcorn, but I’m afraid she might growl and bite me. I wonder what makes her so angry all the time. Oh well, better not to judge. There are two sides to every story, and I bet she has a good tale of her own…

Anonymous said...

Boo-hoo, anonymous -- you've had to take the train all WEEK? TDCTNY's been doing this for years. (No wonder you still think popcorn is an acceptable food. All you could find in the station was a popcorn vendor? In PENN STATION? Here are a few less-fragrant options: donuts, bagels, McD's parfaits, Auntie Anne's cinnamon pretzels, anything from Starbucks...)

Also, my literacy takes offense to the line "that girl with the laptop computer...angrily clacking away...I hope she doesn't sit by me...keep walking." <-- If C can walk and type at the same time, perhaps we've underestimated her awesomeness.

Ripper said...

I wish I could see that bag in person...